The Harem of Suzumiya Haruhi
by sakurai-kurokami
Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi accidentally picked up a harem game... and the world was recreated again.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Yuki! I want to play a game I picked up on the way to school today! Let's ask the Computer Club to install it in your notebook in the meantime!"

Why don't you install it in your computer if you really want to play it that much?

"That's for brigade purposes only!"

Just go already.

Haruhi left the room after dragging Yuki all the way to our neighbors. I looked at Koizumi and asked him what was that all about.

"It appears that Haruhi picked up a dating game earlier, and finds it fascinating. It must be her first time seeing a game like that."

A dating game? Hm, I didn't know that Haruhi was interested in things like that.

What was the game all about anyway?

"I think it was a harem game, based from the cover…"

Oh, a harem game huh. That's gonna be tough. It's hard to play games like that based from Taniguchi's stories he used to tell us.

"What's a harem game, Kyon-kun?" Asahina-san asked me, refilling my cup with her delicious tea.

"Oh, it's a game where the main character chooses a girl among the heroines he'll interact along the way. The closer the main character is towards a certain girl, the more the chance of them being together." I briefly explained. "Oh but sometimes, it usually ends up with the main character being together with every girl in the game."

"Uwah… So there's a game like that…" Asahina-san said pondering over the new knowledge she learned just now. "I wonder why Suzumiya-san wants to play it that much."

"Hahaha! Kowing Haruhi, she probably wants to know what it's like in real life!"

…SHIT!

I quickly regretted dropping Asahina-san's delicious tea but I nevertheless sprinted outside with Koizumi in tow, leaving our confused senpai and opened the Computer Club's room quickly.

Too late. Haruhi was already playing the game, and was even mesmerized by it. I opened my mouth to warn Yuki but it was already too late. The scenery around me started to form cracks, as if a glass is being broken into pieces.

Koizumi! I reached for Koizumi who was about to fall from the crack that appeared below him.

I caught a hold of his hand but the floor that I'm standing on started to fall apart.

I can only mutter a word of annoyance as I fell down into the darkness.

Damn it, Haruhi…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**XXXX**

"_You play as Kyon, as he transfers to North High along with his best friend Koizumi Itsuki, doing their best to lead a normal life as their dark past continues to haunts them. Follow his personal and romantic encounters with the heroines as he joins a club, play baseball with his senpais and go around town looking for mysteries like aliens, time-travelers, and espers!"_

There are so many wrong things about what I heard just now that I don't even know where to start.

Koizumi and I found ourselves at the courtyard of North High wearing a Kouyouen uniform. It looks like the luxurious school for rich and elegant ladies became co-ed again just like how Nagato recreated the world back then.

The voice we heard just now sounded like Haruhi imitating a robot's voice. Judging from what she said. I'll be frank, it's plain bullshit again.

"But this is good; judging from the way you reacted at the clubroom back then, you'll probably go insane without anyone to talk to about what's happening right now in this world." Koizumi said showing his trademark smile I've gotten used to by now. "So what's your plan? I lost my esper powers and can't even communicate with my fellow Agency members."

That's what I wanted to know. Usually, I'm the only person whose memories aren't altered when this type of things happen. But I kept my mouth shut for the sake of not hurting his feelings. _Ugh._

"I don't know. But we're supposed to be transferees right?" I said nonchalantly. "I guess let's proceed with what'll happen before we think of the next choice to make."

Koizumi nodded and we made our way to the faculty room.

"But this is strange; usually you go to Nagato-san's place first if something like this happens."

"It's just… I got the feeling that if we didn't follow the route this game has…"

Koizumi stopped and looked at me seriously.

"Then won't that be game over?"

**XXXX**

"Ara, ara? Are you the transferees of Kouyouen High?"

That was the first time I saw Koizumi drop his mouth in surprise. I was trying really hard not to laugh but hey, I can't blame him.

"Oh? What's wrong with him?"

The teacher who greeted us was none other than Mori-san. She was wearing a track suit which implies that she's a gym teacher here at North High.

"Nothing at all, sensei." I said to her. "Koizumi, get a grip!" I whispered to my frozen friend.

"Well then, your name is Kyon, right?" Mori-san asked. "That's a weird name. And he is Koizumi Itsuki?"

"Yes." I answered her, in behalf of Koizumi.

"Ah, it looks like you're in my class, Kyon-kun." Mori-san said. "Koizumi is in Class 9. His homeroom teacher will be Okabe-sensei."

Okabe-sensei's desk was just beside Mori-san's so I just pushed Koizumi straight into him. I returned my attention to Mori-san after.

"Okay, from now on, I am your homeroom teacher." Mori-san proudly said, giving me a cute smile. "Please go on easy on me as this is my first time handling a class, and even getting a transferee all of a sudden is a surprise for me."

"Thank you, Mori-san." Uh-oh. I let my tongue slip.

"Ara? How did you know my name?"

"Lucky guess?" I said to her sounding like an idiot.

Mori-san eyed me suspiciously before standing up. "Well then, if you already know my name, then we'll just need to head off to your class. Hurry now."

I followed Mori-san out of the door, glancing at Koizumi who was back to normal and having a lively conversation with my old homeroom teacher.

**XXXX**

"Uhm… Mori-sensei?"

"Just call me, Mori-san. I like the way you called me that earlier,"

Is it me or did she just blushed?

"M-Mori-san? Uhm… I have a question."

"If that requires me to tell you my three sizes or my age, then no."

"It's nothing like that!"

"Hahaha. Just kidding~ but if you really want to know, ask me later." She said, winking at me. "Ah, we're here."

Seriously, if I ever see the original Mori-san again, I won't probably be able to look at her eye anymore.

"Kyon-kun! Hey!" Mori-san called for me and I entered the door. The class was just about the same as my class back in my world…NOT.

"Okay class, from now on Kyon-kun will be joining our class from now on. He transferred over Kouyouen High." Mori-san announced. "Take a sit in front of Suzumiya-san over there."

I noticed that Haruhi was the same as usual. Although her melancholic attitude is still present, she's just about the normal Haruhi. Our eyes met for a moment then she started to look back at the window again. I sat down on my seat and saw that Kunikida and Taniguchi are still in my class. Sigh. Nothing changed, huh.

"Class rep-san; please give Kyon-kun a tour around the campus at lunch break, okay?"

"Yes, Sonou-sensei."

I almost pissed myself after seeing the person who acknowledged Mori-san's last announcement.

It was Asakura Ryoko, giving me a warm smile. The memories of how she tried to kill me with her knife quickly came back.

"Okay, let's start our homeroom for today."

**XXXX**

"Kyon-kun, why did you transfer to this school?"

The one asking me that question was the person who almost stabbed me with a knife: Asakura Ryoko also known as Nagato's backup and humanoid interface created by the Integrated Data Sentient Identity.

"It's a secret." What I answered just now wasn't particularly a lie or the truth. I really don't know why.

"Oh, is Kouyouen High a different school from ours?"

Our conversation continued like that with me dodging or answering randomly while she just asks and asks.

We were walking towards the cafeteria since I'm beginning to get hungry and she kindly offered to have lunch with me since she forgot her lunch this morning. I'm actually beginning to think that she's really no harm in this world but I won't lose anything to be always on guard.

After getting some ramen, we headed to find ourselves some place to sit at. But as always, the cafeteria's packed with many students eating. Asakura was about to lose hope when I heard someone calling my name.

"Kyon! Over here!" It was Koizumi, sitting alone on a table with the same dish as us.

"Let's go over there, Asakura-san." I said to my class rep, which was getting conscious of Koizumi. "It's okay, he is a friend; my best friend actually."

She just nodded her head and followed me to Koizumi's table. After setting down my food, I introduced her to Koizumi, just for the sake of formality. "This is Asakura Ryoko, she's the class representative of 1st Year, Class 5." And then I introduced Koizumi to him. "This is my best friend, Koizumi Itsuki. We both transferred from Kouyouen High today."

"Ah, Hello Koizumi-san." Asakura said, bowing her head. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Asakura-san." Koizumi replied, giving his usual smile.

Finishing the introductions, Asakura asked the same questions she asked me earlier to Koizumi, who was trying hard to come up with anything random the same way I did earlier. Seeing us in a different person's point of view, we just look like a normal group of friends trying to eat.

But in reality, I'm just a normal person eating ramen with a smiling esper and an alien who tried to kill me with a knife.

Talk about weird. But then again, nothing's ever normal when Haruhi's involved.

Asakura left earlier because she said that Mori-san needs to talk to her. We waved goodbye to her after she thanked us for eating lunch with her.

"This is rather surprising turn of events."

"Hmp. Yeah, but it's rather normal compared to what I imagined." I said to him. "Anything strange happened in your class?"

"Nagato-san's in my class." He said sighing. "But when I tried to talk to her, she just cowered in fear and denying we ever met before."

Then Nagato's out of the question for us to talk to. "Anything else?"

"I saw Kimidori-san buying bread earlier. I never truly know her well so I didn't manage to see if she became a normal human too." He implied, doing a small gesture with his hands. "How about you?"

"Same old stuff in my class. Just the Haruhi's present but in her melancholic state; Mori-san's now my homeroom teacher; and Asakura-san's present and apparently not trying to kill me with a knife yet."

"You're quiet calm, seeing that we are in a tight spot Kyon."

"Of course I'm still panicking inside. But I know that Haruhi won't try to do anything that'll harm us, her precious brigade members after all."

"I see," he said, as if already expecting my answer. "I'm quite envious of how you and Suzumiya-san completely trusts each other."

Huh, yeah right. I bet that deep down you're quite interested in the turn of events, Koizumi. Oh well, I'll let this day pass without doing anything yet. I'll just observe every key character from now.

Hmm. Asakura Ryoko, Kimidori Emiri, Sonou Mori, Nagato Yuki, Suzumiya Haruhi. "I think the characters for this game aren't complete yet. Asides from Asahina-san, I wonder who's still left?"

"I don't know. But I guess that person over there is one of the characters that you're talking about, Kyon."

Pointing someone from behind my back using his chopsticks, I turned around and just in time I heard the merry laugh of the person Koizumi was talking about.

"Ahahahaha! I managed to get a chocolate roll today, nyoro!"

I was looking straight at Tsuruya-san who was gladly showing her fang as she smiles to Mikuru-san, waving her prized chocolate roll over head.

Sigh. A troublesome character appeared once again, huh. I wonder who's next…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Sonou Mori Arc**

**XXXX**

"Haruhi, Nagato, Asahina-san, Tsuruya, Asakura-san, Kimidori-san and Mori-san." I counted seven in my hands. "That's all, I think."

Koizumi and I decided to skip class and we headed to the Literature clubroom to come up with a plan to finish this dating game Haruhi set up on this world. But seeing that we'll be facing a bunch of people with weird and altered personalities, god knows what'll happen to us next.

"How about going for Haruhi first? Then we'll see if she'll recreate the world back to its original state."

"Hey, hey, hey! Who said that I'll be the one who'll do the 'dating thing'? I'm not fit for that part! And for Pete's sake, if you go for Haruhi first then the game will be over. If it comes to worst, she'll repeat the game again and again and again until I'll have finished going after ALL OF THE GIRLS."

"Ara. That's quite a dangerous move, especially when you said that she'll repeat the game. Chances are that our memories will be gone once the game resets." Koizumi said, putting on a serious look. "Of course, you'll be the one to do it. Don't worry, I'll help you."

Damn it. The whole "Haruhi-chose-you-so-you-should-do-it" theory reminded of me the time I kissed her when we were trapped in a closed space together. Koizumi stood up and took a notebook from the bookshelf. The Literature clubroom's just about a normal clubroom anyone can find in a normal school now, so it's kind of lonely not seeing Asahina-san's tea set or her rack of clothes.

"Hmm. So what's the plan? This is kind of exciting. I never actually skipped classes before."

"Take this seriously, Koizumi."

"Ahaha. I know, it's just that the mood's gotten serious lately." He said, writing the names of the girls I said just now in the paper. "Based from my knowledge on dating games, I guess it would be best to befriend the other girls first, and then deal with the girl you prefer later."

"Oh, you know these things very well, huh Koizumi."

"A friend of mine used to play this outside of work so I know only of the little details."

Then why don't you be the one to do it here rather than me? Freaking esper.

"Well, put a check sign on those we already interacted with." I said to him, giving orders. "That's Mori-san, Asakura-san and Nagato for you."

"And then put an asterisk on those we already befriended with. I guess that's Mori-san and Asakura-san for now."

"What's next?" He asked, playing with his pen.

I took the paper from him and studied it very carefully. The chances of me speaking with the three juniors are quiet slim, as for Nagato it'll be hard since she's really a shy person when turned into a human. And don't even forget Haruhi who's probably in a melancholic state right now.

"I guess the best course for me to go now is to go for either Asakura-san or Mori-san while interacting with Nagato and Haruhi." I finally said. "I'll come up with a plan to get close to the three juniors while we're at it."

"Hmm. I don't really mind. So who's the first lucky girl in the list?" He said at last, in an annoying tone with an annoying gesture with the annoying smile.

Bastard, he's thoroughly enjoying the show.

**XXXX**

Koizumi and I soon realized that the classes have already ended. Good way to start our first day as transferees, huh? But then again, we don't need to be serious in this world as long as we go with the flow of Haruhi's whim.

We parted ways halfway so we can get our bags. I peered at my classroom to see that there's no one there anymore. I reached for my bag when the door suddenly opened.

"Kyon-kun?"

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I saw that it was Asakura-san. Memories of how she tried to kill me in this classroom flooded back inside my brain.

"What's wrong, you look pale?"

Get your act straight Kyon! She's harmless! "Ah, no. I wasn't feeling well so I stayed at the infirmary."

"Ah, that's why you weren't at class today." She said, giving a warm smile. "Do you want me to accompany you on the way back home?"

"Ah, no. I'll be fine on my own…"

"No way~" She said merrily, holding onto my arm. "As the class representative, it's my duty to look after my classmates."

Having no way to run into, I simply complied and let her drag me outside school. How I wish the Asakura from the past is as nice as her.

**XXXX**

"That reminds me, have you already gotten your North High uniform, Kyon-kun?"

Weird enough, Asakura and I conversed like we knew each other for many years. I kept looking everywhere to see if Koizumi is following us, but he isn't.

That means I'll end up getting stabbed without anyone helping me. I sure do hope I'll lose consciousness first before the blade touches my skin.

"I think so. Hm?"

My phone started ringing. It was a call from Koizumi. I looked at Asakura to let her know that I have to take this call, and she just nodded.

After walking far away from her to hear my voice, I answered the call. "Hello, Koizumi?"

"Kyon, I have bad news and good news. Which do you like to hear first?"

"The bad news."

"Apparently, my place isn't my place here anymore. So can I stay at your house?"

"That really sounds like bad news." For me, that is. "Yeah, sure. I think we still have an extra room. I'll just talk to my parents over it. What's the good news?"

"Let's change the plan. Go for Mori-san first."

"You just rejected that idea earlier!"

"I know, but I found out something that'll make it easier to deal with her first. Just go to the address that I'll tell you first and I'll cover all of the details when you're here."

I wrote the address that he said on a piece of paper, and finished the call. Judging from this address, I'll meet up with him for about thirty minutes.

"Asakura-san, Koizumi called me over to somewhere. But I still got time so I'll walk you home." I said, sounding like a gentleman. "You live in the apartment block near the park, am I right?"

"H-How did you know?" She suddenly said. "Don't tell me you're a stalker!"

Oh, I forgot. Stupid. "I saw you coming out of their earlier in the morning."

She closed her face into mine and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Oh really?"

Having gotten used to Haruhi doing this with me, I didn't falter through her look. "Yep."

"Hmm. Okay, then you shall be my escort, Kyon-kun."

She finally moved away and we started walking towards the said apartment block. I was actually hoping to see Nagato along the way but I'm pretty sure she's cooped up at her room waiting for Asakura to cook for her.

An awkward silence started to emit around us but I just shut up, not knowing what to talk about. Looking at Asakura's back, I don't even know what she's thinking of this moment.

"Oh, we're already here."

Looking to where Asakura was talking about, I saw the same apartment block where she and Nagato stay at. I suddenly remembered the times where I usually head straight here to ask for Nagato's help.

"Kyon-kun?"

"Ah, sorry Asakura-san." I said. "Well, I guess I'll head off now."

I waved at her and turned around and started to walk away. But then…

"Kyon-kun, actually the truth is, today I went to school from my parent's house. So I'll expect a reason for your obvious lie, tomorrow at school, okay?"

**XXXX**

After taking the train to where Koizumi is, I met up with him inside a coffee shop.

"Koizumi. What's up?" I was about to order a cup of coffee when he pointed to the shop in front of this one.

It was a maid café, famous for otakus and the like. But I never knew what the point in pointing it out for me is.

"Don't tell me the reason for calling me out here is to go over there?"

"Correct."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY." I outright told him and ordered a cup of coffee to the surprised waitress. "There's a limit to the jokes, Koizumi."

"Just a minute now," he explained carefully. "You're misunderstanding something, think about it carefully."

"What are you talking about? I expected a plan to go for Mori-san and this is wha-"

Wait a minute. Mori-san and maid café? Don't tell me that she's…

"I guess you figured it out," Koizumi said giving a sigh of relief. "I just came back from my place when I saw Mori-san quietly sneaking towards that place. I got curious and decided to see what she's up to."

"That's when you realized that she's working at that shop?" I said, finishing his explanation.

"Indeed. I even saw her serving some of the customers with a cute smile that I never thought I would see in my entire life as an esper in the Agency."

Well, that's a relief. I guess Mori-san will still be a maid for Haruhi even here in this world. "Well, what are we going to do now?"

"What are we going to do now? Shouldn't it be, what are you going to do now?"

Can you please get straight to the point? I'm about to lose a nerve here, just so you know. The waitress came back and gave me the coffee; I quickly added milk and sugar into it and started stirring not answering Koizumi at all.

Sensing my annoyance, he answered. "It'll be bad for a teacher like her to know that she's working at a store like this. Especially with the school, even if it's okay for the students, it's definitely not appealing to the school administrators if they hear about this."

Taking a sip from my coffee, Koizumi continued. "That's where you enter, knowing that you know her secret. She'll keep an eye on you and gradually, you'll two will get close. And with just a little push, you'll surely capture her heart."

A moment while I vomit. "Is it me or you're quite understandable when it comes to dealing with girls?"

"That's not the point, Kyon." He said, shoving my opinion away. "Just hurry up and do it. I'll be keeping an eye on you from over here."

Sigh. The things I do for the whims of an energetic god.

**XXXX**

"Welcome back, Master!"

"And hello to you too, Mori-san."

If I could only capture the moment she realized that it was me, I would've made a copy of it and show it to Arakawa-san and Koizumi. But still, going with the flow of what's happening right now, I decided to be formal and just sat in a place where I can see Koizumi and Koizumi can see me.

"W-W-What are y-you doing h-here, K-K-Kyon-kun?" She stuttered, her eyes about to tear up.

"I'm here to order omelette rice and iced tea, thank you." I answered, giving her a knowing look.

Too late to do anything, she gloomily took my order and went to the counter to give my order.

Hey now, where's my 'I'll be right back, Master.' Or something like that?

Maids these days…

**XXXX**

**Author's note:**

**Hey guys. Sorry for the late update. Just started going to college this week, and it was hell if you ask me. Read and Review. Thanks a lot. :3 I'll be updating every week now.**


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